Tag Archives: Summer

Fireflies & Flashlights

Firefly, by theskepticaloptimist on Flickr

Back in August, we were out on the porch one night, watching the bugs.

Me: I see fireflies.
Nitram: Yeah.
Me: I wonder how come they light up like that.
Nitram: Must be some mating thing.


Me: I guess there aren’t that many things out at night that want to eat flying bugs.
Nitram: Yeah. It’s like those deep-sea fishes, they have… some glowing thing…
Me: Phosphorous?
Nitram: Yeah. It attracts other things that they can eat.
Me: Oh yeah. Like, there’s this deep-sea fish that looks like Winston Churchill — what? What the fuck is so funny? Anyway, it’s kinda big, and it sits there on the ocean floor going like this (makes pouting face) and it has a doohickey on its forehead that hangs down like this over its lip (makes another weird face) and other fish come along and go, “Ooh look, shiny,” and the big fish goes GNARF. What??
Him (catching breath): Yeah.
Me: Okay.
Nitram: Yeah.


Me: So I guess fireflies aren’t trying to attract prey.
Nitram: No, it’s a mating thing.
Me: Hmmm.
Nitram: What.
Me: Well, you could try that.
Nitram: …what?
Me: Stick a flashlight up your ass and see if I’d want to fuck you. What??

A Lot of Ugly Ones

It was a lovely Autumn day today, and after the wind and rain storms we had, a memory of Summer came to me.

Nitram had to go into the city for a day in the summer, and it was sweltering. In the afternoon he caught a cab, driven by a very talkative and friendly older Latino. The guy is going on and on about how much he loves New York, and how much he even loves it when the weather is like this in NY — the heat, it’s “the best time of year, because this is when all the women, they start taking off their clothes!”

Being a nice guy, Nitram tries to reply in kind: “Um … yup … there are a lot of beautiful women in New York City.”

The cabbie is silent for a long moment, then slowly nods his head and says, “Yes. And a lot of ugly ones, too.”