Back in August, we were out on the porch one night, watching the bugs.
Me: I see fireflies.
Me: I wonder how come they light up like that.
Nitram: Must be some mating thing.
Me: I guess there aren’t that many things out at night that want to eat flying bugs.
Nitram: Yeah. It’s like those deep-sea fishes, they have… some glowing thing…
Nitram: Yeah. It attracts other things that they can eat.
Me: Oh yeah. Like, there’s this deep-sea fish that looks like Winston Churchill — what? What the fuck is so funny? Anyway, it’s kinda big, and it sits there on the ocean floor going like this (makes pouting face) and it has a doohickey on its forehead that hangs down like this over its lip (makes another weird face) and other fish come along and go, “Ooh look, shiny,” and the big fish goes GNARF. What??
Him (catching breath): Yeah.
Me: So I guess fireflies aren’t trying to attract prey.
Nitram: No, it’s a mating thing.
Me: Well, you could try that.
Me: Stick a flashlight up your ass and see if I’d want to fuck you. What??